I¬†hear you like Kickstarter games. You think that makes you cool or something? I’ll tell you what’s cool, and that’s STAYING OFF DRUGS. Because if you’re not OFF DRUGS you’re ON DRUGS. And if you’re ON DRUGSthen your entire life must be a pathetic, crumbling, lonely, jobless, funless, loveless, clueless disappointment-fest highlighted by constant and utter failure and forever tinged with the regret of a life that never brought satisfaction in any meaningful way.

Okay! Now that we got that out of the way, let’s take a look at some great games from everyone’s favorite crowd-funding site, Kickstarter!

Tahira: Echoes of the Astral Empire

Tahira is a tactics RPG with a unique look and feel to it. The gameplay seems slightly slower than what I prefer (maybe there’ll be speed settings though) but I really like the fine detail in the artwork on this one.

Infernax

Disclaimer: I love Castlevania; Infernax looks just like an early Castlevania; therefore here it is. But seriously, the game looks high-quality for an 8-bit. The only thing I’m concerned about is that they set their goal for $10 which means the team didn’t actually set a goal in line with their game’s budget, which can be bad news for a project if the team just takes whatever money comes along and then ends up running out before the game is done. But I have a theory that this one is basically already done anyway and this is more of a bid for attention/pre-sells than actually development funding.

Spooky Poo’s HAPPY HELL

Spooky Poo is so weird it was nearly a candidate for a WTF article, but it shows enough polish and fun to appear here as well. It’s very Mario 64, but with more Satan.

Edge of Eternity

(In a Jerry Seinfeld voice): What’s with all these JRPG’s and their “End of all things” type names? Final Fantasy. Last Story. Edge of Eternity. Can’t wait until Most Terminal Conclusion Ever comes out. Anywhohow, yes this one looks very much like a Final Fantasy cousin. It’s even being developed by a team called Midgar Studios, and the game’s logo is the biggest Final Fantasy ripoff of all time. But that may not turn out to be a bad thing. The game looks good and you can ride around on a cat. There, now you’re interested, aren’t you?

Unraveled

Classic 90’s-styled RPG here, which I happen to be a sucker for (daaaaamn yoooooou 90’s!). Lot of interesting scenes going on here. My only qualm with Unraveled is the way the monster character looks. I’m talking about that Where the Wild Things Are knock-off, strychnine-grin-looking mofugga. At least give him different facial expressions. Freaking creepy.

Had a lot of critisisms for the Best Kickstarter Games of the Week this time. Sorry developers. Doesn’t mean I don’t love you or your games. I just consider myself to be somewhat of a godparent to your projects and I want my little muffins to grow up to be as good as they can be. Tough love was a big theme in 90’s television (Daaaaaaaaaamn yoooooooooooooou ninetieeeeeeeeeeeees!)