It’s here, folks. The day every man, woman, child and wildebeest has been waiting for since the image of people wearing bulky gloves and head/eyewear started appearing in 80’s movies. Virtual reality is finally here.

Well, sort of. At least everyone is scrambling to say that they have something to offer. But I think we all know that companies push products onto the public at least as fast as we demand them these days. I mean sure, people were all about the smart phones. And then out came the tablet—which brought some doubt from the industry—but those suckers blew the F up too. But Smart watches? The makers truly gave it their all the last two Christmas seasons to convince people they wanted those things—can’t say that it’s worked so far. And 3D TVs? No one gave half a goddamn about that. Is it possible that crazy new technology is coming out at such a tremendous rate that consumers are feeling a bit fatigued? Possibly, but you didn’t come here to hear me opine on the current and future state of the industry, now did you?

Valve/HTC Vive

Valve has partnered up with HTC to add to their growing collection of Steam-related doohickies. Why are they paying someone else to make their product? My guess would be that they have too much on their plate right now, what with the Steam OS, Steam Controller and Steam Machines on the horizon.
Steam HTC Vive VR Virtual Reality Goggles Headset

Specs

Framerate: 90 fps
Display: Two 1200 x 1080 screens
Field of View: 110 degrees
Motion to Photon Latency: 20ms
Refresh: 95hz

Release

End of 2015

Sony Morpheus

Sony Morpheus VR Virtual Reality Goggles

This one has been getting a ton of press recently. Was it named after the character from The Matrix despite the movie not being owned by Sony Pictures? Probably. That’s fine with me as long as it doesn’t have Keanu’s droning voice as a UI guide or something. But it would be kind of cool if it asked you if you wanted the blue pill or the red pill the first time you turned it on.

Specs

Display: 5.7 inch 1920 X 1080 resolution OLED display
Refresh Rate: 120hz
Latency: 18ms

Release

First half of 2016

Microsoft: HoloLens

Microsoft HoloLens VR Virtual Reality Goggles
And on the 1.657 trillionth day, our lord Bill Gates said, “Let there be Microsoft”, and it was good. And now the philandering philanthropist is at it again with the greatest invention on earth. That is, a word that has a capital letter in the middle of it: HoloLens. And about what I said earlier about BG being a philanderer, I was just being metaphorical. I’m like almost totally positive he hasn’t cheated on his wife very many times.

Specs

Nothing confirmed yet

Release

Nothing confirmed yet

Oculus Rift

Oculus Rift Crescent Bay VR Virtual Reality Goggles Headset

The headgear that started it all. And crowd-funded at that! Just goes to show where true innovation lies in this age of self-promoted marketing. Large companies can’t always afford to take risks, and they have to pay mondo dinero to track interest levels in consumers. But any old group of goofballs can throw up a Kickstarter project and just rake it in at no risk to themselves. But that isn’t to say that Oculus didn’t know what they were doing. Their long-in-the-make VR goggles have paved the way for nearly every feature seen on this list. So let’s check out the specs!

Specs

Refresh Rate: 75hz
Display: 960 x 1080 Per Eye
Field of View: 100 degrees

Release

Has been available in the form of various “Developer Kits” since 2012. A consumer release is rumored to be planned for sometime in late 2015.

Google Cardboard

Google Cardboard VR Virtual Reality Goggles Headset

Remember when you were a little shithead kid, running around “pretending” all the time? (AKA having psychotic hallucinations). Back then it seemed perfectly ordinary to pull some filthy piece of cardboard from the rubbish bin and wear it on your head. Now Google has taken this concept and marketed it as a viable product in the form of Google Cardboard. They aren’t actually a functional technology on their own, but instead the folded cardboard forms a housing in which you can shove your phone—so that you can stare super close at it. Ah, the future!

Specs

Same as whatever phone you jam into it.

Release

Out now

Samsung Gear

Speaking of virtual reality products that are actually just devices that hold a phone against your face, here comes the Samsung Gear. The Gear works in a highly similar way to the Google Cardboard, but specifically requires the Galaxy Note 4 to fit into its plastic compartment. From there you download Gear VR-specific apps and games to try out. One major difference from this and the cardboard is the price. You’re gonna need to deal out 200 bucks for the phone holster alone.

Samsung Gear VR Virtual Reality Goggles

Specs

Framerate: 60 fps
Display: 5.7 inch (143.9mm) Quad HD Super AMOLED (2560×1440)
Field of View: 96 degrees
Motion to Photon Latency: <20ms

 Release

Out now.

AMD Liquid

AMD Liquid VR

AMD, known worldwide as “the company that makes processors for people who are too poor for Intel” (AKA me), has their own pair of Super Cool Guy Spectacles on the way. Will it be cheaper than those other guys? Who knows. There’s not even a picture of this thing yet. And there’s still no word yet on whether the headset conforms to the shape of its container.

Specs

Nothing confirmed yet

Release

Nothing confirmed yet

That’s it for now.  And I know there is one question that’s still burning in everyone’s brain, and that is whether or not we will see a rerelease of the SNES/Genesis classic Virtual Bart now that the technology has caught up with this ground-breaking and incredibly influencial 1995 title. I’m sorry to say I don’t have the answer to this yet. But I will be attempting to stay on top of all VR developments for you and updating them here. If you or any other miscreants have information, drop it in the comments.