Just a couple of weirdos for you this week, but I thought you’d appreciate them given your penchant for laughing at the ineptitude of others to cover for your own crushing self-doubt.

Buzzard

Your mean side is going to be disappointed here, because I tricked you. This project is from land of the Awesomely Weird. The game is called Buzzard, and it’s based on a 2014 indie film that is currently seeing a small release in theaters across the US. “The outside world is no place for you. Too many creeps, goons, jocks and playboys. And you can’t dunk a ball,” the narrator declares with drawling contempt. The only other thing I know about the film is that the main character wields a Nintendo Powerglove with Freddy Kruger claws on it, but that’s all a person needs to know.

Venue Vandals

Alright, as a reward for suffering through a weird work of indie genius, I have prepared for you a helping of the awkward, clueless and tone-deaf sort of Kickstarter wtf that you crave. So I present to you: Venue Vandals. Painfully stilted acting, poor timing, bad sound, and overall awkwardness prevails in this masterpiece of the socially inept. I’d like to think that the creators were perhaps inspired to create this wreck by the purposefully tacky anti-humor of Tim & Eric, but of course we all know they’re just putzes. But the jokes on me this time, because Venue Vandals is closer to getting their goals met than old Buzzard. Just goes to show that all you need to reach your dreams in this world is for your mom to get all her friends to put money into a Kickstarter for you.

Uh, I always feel obligated to say something else at the end here, so… here’s a fun fact: A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.